Fear Factor

Since beginning my awesome journey being single again, I have done some pretty exciting and amazingly daring things. I've faced some of my biggest fears, like eating alone in a restaurant, riding a motorcycle and traveling alone. I've conquered my fear of heights by free falling from a 10 story platform, twice. But today...this morning... I did something that totally scared the hell out of me. Something that I would never openly volunteer for.

I knew that I was going to be an Oblationer today in church. Ok, no biggie, I've done that before. Although last week I made an ass of myself and practically sprinted down the isle leaving my partner behind not even realizing it until I heard a voice behind me whisper loudly, "Hey you! Slow down!" And no, it wasn't the voice of God, it was my partner. I'm surprised she didn't kick me in the ass sending me sailing to the altar.

But this morning I was asked by my dear friend Gail to do the first reading. Not really thinking about it, I said yes....then I wanted to throw up. I am not a public speaker. I do not like to stand in front of any size crowd and speak, much less read. It had been more than 20 years, high school, since I had spoke in front of any crowd. So I did some major fast praying. I prayed that I would not trip and fall or stumble over unfamiliar words. I prayed that I wouldn't forget to bow at the altar. But most of all that God would give me the strength to be able to stand up and start walking in the first place. So, I did it. It terrified me and I'm sure that it showed. But I'm really glad that she asked me to do it. Just one more fear I can say I've conquered I'm working through.